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3rd Cycle (April 2007) and recap on things

God, what a trip. However, I have to say the first two days of my chemo went well. Despite being really scared stupid about the pending lures being put in, I was one prepared wee kid. I had lathered my two wrists with emla gel (local ointment) that will have localised the first centimetre of skin and tissue as I put it on at 10.00am. I then took a mild sedative to try and relax me. I also bought Class 5 ear muffs from NZ Safety as Ward 25 is so god damn noisy and I am a terribly light sleeper. So, here was me with earmuffs on waiting for the torturous lures to be stabbed in me snoozing away. The doc had to shake me awake as I couldn’t hear him l.o.l I organised him to put one lure in my left for the saline potassium flush and a lure in my right wrist for my chemo. This will prevent the agonising torture of the potassium saline flush to be put in the same lure as the chemo – the chemo is really harsh and strips the walls of the veins and so after the chemo the potassium in the saline stings the hell out of the exposed nerves. They both went in well so there was no chance of them blocking or leaking into the skin tissue (which has happened two or three times and it hurts like hell, especially when they have trouble putting the flush through from the hypodermic and when it does go, it is all of a sudden and you almost go through the roof in pain and makes you seriously pst off and almost cry at the same time! ).

Sunrise over Hamilton, NZ looking out my window in ward 25Sunrise 2007 over Hamilton, NZ looking through the window from my hospital bed

However, day three was another day from hell repeated like cycle two. I was sick all day. However, I later found out, the shutter was left closed on my sub-pump (the pump that shoots anti nausea in me every 20m or so via a needle in my chest) that night – rrrgh the incompetence of the nurse. God, I won’t forget this for cycle number four in June.

The next few days out of hospital, I felt like I was walking on an Ice Shelf ready to fall in (having to go back to hospital) – I didn’t know what was gona happen – creatinine overdose, neutrapenic, or what but felt doom ahead of me. I thought, if I can get past day 6 out of hospital, this would be fantastic.

Wednesday, I went to “feel good, look good” with the Cancer society. This was brilliant. Up until that day, I had no interest in putting make up on. I would wake up and look at myself in the mirror and think “what an ugly site, I don’t feel female or male, just nothing. I felt just blah and seems pointless”. I would go everywhere just being me and wearing a cap. I have this lovely wig, but after an hour or so, it gets irritable and ya have to take it off. I think the longest I have had it on is two hours.

My friend Barbara Lee and I with my wig on

I was getting a snivly nose and I thought “oh god, where will this go…” by Thursday night, I was feeling pretty god awful, and had the odd chill and my temperature was steadily rising. Woke up Friday with a temperature of 38.5,,,,, and thought, crap. Well, I took a panadol, lots of water and yay, it went down, yay, no hospital. mmmmm, 4.00pm it then peaked again at 38.3 and sod it, I gave in, knowing more needles/lures ahead of me, and it sucks. Rang myself a taxi and 30m later I was in hospital, again, and it was day 7 out of hospital…….. How did I know something was going to happen?

Sure enough, they struggled to find a vein and the one they did find ended up crapping out the next day, it was blocking and stinging like hell when they flushed it cos it was leaking into skin tissue. Compounded by all this, I had these god dam ulcers on and at the back under my tongue – I struggled to eat. Previously the ulcers raising their ugly heads, I couldn’t and still can’t, eat anything with

flour in it – like bread, cake, biscuits, etc as they all are like a mouth full of powder in your mouth and everything tastes odd at the moment. I am drinking milkshakes and soups – one consolation is it will improve my lines for a bikini at the end of this darn chemo. So, hardly ate anything at all in hospital. One night, there was this god awful moan, that turned into a hair curling screaming yell, you thought their relative died or they were being tortured or something – it went on and on – for at least a good 5 – 10 minutes and ya thought the most god awful things that was happening to this poor blighter. Later I asked a nurse who was killing that bloke down the hall, and she said he had fallen over in the bathroom. Cripes damn bathrooms must have an obscene percentage of domestic accidents. This guy down the hall then repeated all this same noise the next evening, oh god, when I needed my ear muffs.

I finally escaped hospital – today ! oh what celebration. I feel like hitting the town and going loose on my MasterCard with some retail therapy and just have loads of fun. But, nope, that poor card will be buying two boring tyres and some petrol…. ho hum, it will seriously need to be cleared next pay day.

I am going to Rotorua as my friend who did Ironman, is doing the Rotorua marathon, so I am going to support and cheer her on all day – will be a blast. I will be out there with my pink pom pom, cheering her on and of course any hansom bloke I see too with good legs 🙂

Oh, goodness I haven’t told you ! My operation is on the 13th of May for my tumour to be extracted and my forearm to be replaced with my fibula in my leg and my wrist to be fused with some steel and screws.

I think it will be quite a big operation – like 4 hours or something; I will be up there for about 10 days they say. I check in on the 12th to get prepped and tested etc and then the knife on the Monday. Mum is gona stay at a hotel up there for a couple of days.

It sure is getting wintry now and I have put in a new flu in my fire – $500 – cripes it really sucks when you spend $500 on a piece of steel and looks no sparklier than the old one!! It should at least smell new or something, something a chic can see some difference! So, I will be lighting a fire tonight – yay.


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